IC Inbox | Rin Okumura

[satanslash]

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Rin Okumura ⬤ Ao no Exorcist
residential district ⬤ Level 2
moonblessing ⬤ Cordis

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4/10, @ nissan's teppanyaki

[wearingguess]

[ cordis is winding down, but titus still has these damn wings that still could not possibly be more in the way... but it didn't feel right to put this off any longer, so he's here. ]

Rin... good afternoon.
...Can I sit here?

[satanslash]

[Rin doesn't look... great but he does look better than he did, so that's an improvement. It's mostly a lingering tiredness, one that has him taking more frequent breaks but still trying to give his usual fangy smiles to customers and keep up the energy when he is behind the grill.

Whatever smile he did have on when Titus came in, though, flickered uncertainly before he nodded to the stool directly across from him.

Yeah, that last conversation was... a doozy.]

Yeah.

[wearingguess]

Thank you.

[ he sits!!!

and then he's quiet for a moment, since... even though he came here to talk, now that it's come down to it he isn't quite sure where to begin.

but there's at least one obvious thing to say, so he'll say that. ]

I... need to apologize for how I spoke to you before. I was very upset... for a number of reasons... and I failed to take your feelings into account, or really to consider that others might be upset for their own reasons as well...

[ he shakes his head ]

Ah, I am talking in circles. It doesn't matter. I was unkind to you, and I am sorry.

[satanslash]

[Rin can't really blame him for not knowing where to start. The conversation was... difficult. And heated. And maybe a little painful on both sides.

But an apology is given with some rambling, and Rin respects him enough to listen and wait patiently. At the end he just sighs softly, running a hand through his stark hair.]

It's whatever, man. Can't agree on everythin'. The hell made you act like that anyway? It wasn't like you at all.

[wearingguess]

[ "it wasn't like you" makes him feel an unpleasant twinge of... something. it feels like criticism... like rin is telling him that somehow he failed at being himself.

...but titus knows that he's still feeling pretty raw, and that rin probably didn't mean it that way. besides, there's no point to this if he just gets mad again. ]

...I went home.

Only for a few days, but a great many things happened... and most of them were...

[ soul-crushing? horrifying? unspeakably awful? ]

...bad.

...And you did, too, right? Go home, then come back.

[satanslash]

[Rin's hand stops, shifting just enough for him to see a few tufts of white through his fingers. The hand falls and he nods slowly, looking away with a likely familiar darkness in his eyes.]

I did.

[His chest aches, feeling heavy in the center where a certain demon heart would have been if not for Mephisto's instruction before he left.

There are times where he feels it more than others, and this is one of them.]

[wearingguess]

So.

Perhaps this is presumptuous of me...
But I thought that you and I... seemed likely to be in similar situations. At least insofar as that... well.

Things went badly for us, in our own worlds, and now we are back in this one... doing badly. Or doing less well than usual. Probably.

[ he shakes his head quickly, then folds his arms on the table; he always used to keep them hidden, but now the cracked jewels in each forearm, surrounded by more cracks in the forearms themselves, are visible. ]

We don't... need to talk about it.
That is, I would listen if you wanted to tell me, and I would tell you if you wanted to know, but regardless of that...

[ he sighs and looks down. is he just going in circles again? ]

I didn't want our last conversation to be what you thought of, if you thought of me. I want you to know that I am on your side, and I don't think badly of you at all, for anything, and I care about you very much.

[satanslash]

[It's fine I only died and came back to life as a full demon...

Rin doesn't say it out loud, but he's thinking it pretty hard.

The cracks in Tidus' arms are startling, though, and he can't help but stare for a few seconds.

He sighs softly after that pause and drags a stool over with his foot, sitting down and folding his own arms the counter. Everything about him save for the hair, tail and a slight increase in the size of the faint red dot in his pupils are the same as they always were, but before he sits there was a brief, almost too-quick-to-notice rubbing of the center of his chest through his chef's tunic.

He seems to be doing that frequently, though. It's not the first time since Tidus came in.]

I figured you were just upset. I also knew I wasn't gonna be any good at reasonin' with you. Plus I still felt like shit from comin' back...

[Not exactly a good time for a productive debate on either end.]

I haven't really told... anyone what happened.

[Even Kohaku only knows partial details, and Mephisto had already gone back by this point. As much as he still doesn't want to get into it, Tidus is being willingly open and vulnerable after their argument and Rin can respect that.]

... my sword broke. Or, well, Satan broke it.

[wearingguess]

[ titus clasps his hands together and leans in a bit, focusing all his attention on rin. ]

Your sword?
...I take it that it is not something that can simply be replaced, then.
But what exactly is "Satan"?

[ of course, no matter how intently he listens, he's not going to just understand. ]

((ooc: sorry for long delay; I've been without a computer! feel free to drop this thread if it's just too damn old, lol ))

[satanslash]

((You're absolutely fine and I am a-ok to continue! I will backtag into eternity.))

Nah. I don't even have it with me now. Even if I did, I'd have no idea how to fix it to make... this go back. [He flicks at his silver hair, frowning in annoyance. If he didn't look like a no-good degenerate punk he sure does now.]

Satan is uh... I guess the best way to explain him to someone not from Assiah is uh... basically where all demons come from. Like not really the king or leader or anythin' but he is the most powerful above all other demons. And uh. He's also my dad.

[wearingguess]

[ so when satan breaks your sword, it keeps your hair from being black??? titus is gaining a lot of information here, even if he has no clue what any of it means. ]

...I'm sorry. There is a lot I still do not understand...
But I understand that it was more than just a sword, and that... what happened cannot be undone.
...
May I also take it that you and your father do not have a good relationship?

[satanslash]

[Maaaybe he should backtrack a bit.]

Right, sorry. I'm... not good at explainin' shit. Lemmie start over...

[He holds up both his hands, palms facing each other.]

My world is called Assiah. There's another world that's kinda like a mirror to it called Gehenna. Gehenna is where demons are from, Assiah is where humans are. Demons can only enter Assiah by possession, either through people or objects. I found out recently that there was a bunch of crazy experiment shit goin' on when my mom was a kid, and after she became an exorcist herself they wound up havin' Satan possess a clone. They got real close after that.

[He put his hands down on his lap and continued.]

Problem is, Satan in Gehenna was like... power. Before he met my mom he really didn't even have conscious thought, he just... was. That comin' into a human body, even a clone was like makin' him a giant overpowered baby. He didn't really understand himself until he finally got the chance to read up on how humans in Assiah saw him - as somethin' big, scary and not to be fucked with. Aaaaand then he got an ego and basically realized he was a big shot and went super off the deep end thinkin' he was unstoppable or somethin'. Except that much power in a human body? Also super bad. He was basically dyin', but before that he and my mom uh...

[Just... going to make a not so subtle motion with his hands.

They banged, is what he's saying.]

So that's how me and my brother uh... exist. We're half human, cause of her, and I'm the only one with the demon powers from Satan. It wasn't gonna kill me like it did to his human body, but it did mean that it had to be sealed in the sword after I was born. My hair started goin' from white to black after that, and was like that for most of my life.

Until recently...

[Sword broken, power explosion, yadda yadda. He's kind of already covered that.]

But no, I don't have a good relationship with him. He's selfish. He used my mother's love for him to try and make somethin' that could keep in Assiah forever [that is, either him or Yukio. Vessels, basically.] and when she begged him to stop killin' people he turned against her and rejected Yukio and I for bein' "useless" to him.

[Rin paused, feeling a tightness in his throat, the hands on his lap curling into fists.]

Then he watched me for years through the guy who adopted us, and the second Father Fujimoto's heart was weak enough he possessed him to get to me. That man raised me knowing full well what I was and wanted me to have as much of a normal life as possible and he still died for it. Satan can fuckin' rot for all I care.

[wearingguess]

That's horrible...
I'm so sorry.

[ it feels like he should be able to say more than that, but... he means it, anyway.

still, there are parts of it that titus can relate to, at least a little. most of scheherazade's "children" were never anything more than empty vessels so she could prolong her life and continue watching over the empire. she never intended to use titus like that, of course, but he was still created solely to further reim's interests... it took a war, and the intervention of another magi, before she acknowledged him as his own person.

and satan...
an inhuman being in a clone body that couldn't last, desperate to stay in a world where he'd never belonged...
well. titus definitely understands that, although he fortunately can't relate to the rest of it. it makes no sense to titus that satan would treat his sons like nothing but tools, or would turn on his lover, when the presence of such precious people in assiah should have been the very reason he wanted to stay there to begin with. ]

...But I am really glad that, ultimately, you were raised by someone who cared about you the way you deserve. Even if he was taken from you too soon.

So then...
Is that why he broke your sword? To... unseal your powers, so that you could become a vessel?

[satanslash]

Father Fujimoto was a good guy. Kinda annoyin', but what parent isn't?

[Rin missed him a lot. Even now, years out from the event that took Shiro's life.]

I-- ... maybe? I mean, I was usin' it Yukio 'cause he was being a dumbass but the next thing I knew it was snapped in half and Satan was laughin' about me not bein' sealed anymore. The rest is a serious blur after that.

[wearingguess]

...Annoying?
Are they really?

[ it sounds kind of nice, actually.
though he can't really imagine scheherazade being annoying...
and trying to imagine it feels oddly dangerous, as if she might pop up behind him. ]

Does that mean you don't remember anything else between that, and your return to Iris moon?

[satanslash]

[Rin just shrugs. He really only knows his own experiences, and while he's gotten some insight into the parents of his friends he was still really only speaking in general terms.]

No, I remember... a lot. It might make even less sense to you, though.

[wearingguess]

If it can help me learn how to better support or understand you, then it's fine if it does not make much sense.
But ultimately, what matters is whether you wish to talk about it. If you do, then I want to listen.

[satanslash]

[Support him...

It's not like he doesn't have support, but even now, years after those days when he was utterly alone it always feels like he's being a burden rather than willingly helped by those who care about him.

He shifts a bit on the stool, picking at some left over dirt under a fingernail.]

I... got sent back to the past. To watch my mom and the man who raised me grow up.

[wearingguess]

Rin!!
How wonderful!! You got to see them again, and learn all about them...
...Of course, given what you told me about their lives, I am sure much of what you saw was unpleasant, but even so... what an incredible gift!

[ ...so yeah, maybe he's not reading the room too well, but seriously... getting a second chance to spend time with (or at least watch) such important people, even after their deaths? that sounds like a win to titus. ]

[satanslash]

[He really hadn't considered it like that. He did get to see someone who had only ever been given to him in part and parcel stories. Some that may have even been exaggerated on Shiro's part. Of course Rin also now knew why Shiro was so cagey about it all. No one really wants to tell their adopted sons "yeah, I was in love with your mother, but then I was an asshole and an idiot and lost her to Satan".

Rin shifts on his stool uncomfortably, white tail wrapping around one of his legs.]

I had to see it. I had to figure out how I was gonna... how I was gonna get Yukio back...

[wearingguess]

[ hm, well, rin doesn't seem as pumped about it as titus would have thought, but that's fine. (he also doesn't know who yukio is, but that's neither here nor there...) ]

...And did you?

[satanslash]

[Oh yeah, he's totally gonna be pumped to watch his mom die from trauma and childbirth.]

Yes. And no. I figured... somethin' out, but just when I found him I got yanked back here.

[wearingguess]

[ win some, lose some. ]

I see...
...
That must have been... really frustrating.
Perhaps it is for the best that when you do go back to that moment, you won't remember all the intervening time here. Everything you learned will still be fresh in your mind, and you will be ready to do whatever you must.

[satanslash]

I really hope so... I... I don't wanna lose him. I know there's a lotta shit he hates me for, shit I don't even understand completely, but God... he's still my brother.

[wearingguess]

[ titus is quiet for a moment, and then he reaches out to take rin's hand. ]

I believe you'll get him back.
You understand everything you need to. When the time comes, you will be able to reach him, without a doubt.

[ ...because otherwise, what was the point of any of it?? ]