IC Inbox | Rin Okumura

[satanslash]

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Rin Okumura ⬤ Ao no Exorcist
residential district ⬤ Level 2
moonblessing ⬤ Cordis

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[satanslash]

[Rin has to bite back the urge to say something stupid, like 'see, it's not so bad here'. Yukio doesn't need more reminders that he's far from home, with a twin brother two years older and being affected by a damn moon of all things.]

If you start to feel like you're gonna get tight on chroma, lemmie know? Even if you don't wanna do the whole touchyfeely thing I can give you some work at the grill in exchange for it.

[reflash]

Oh.

[And Yukio just goes red, ducking his head and shoving a too-big bits of food in his mouth and then choking on it a little bit.

He's fine! Just struggling not to give in to that constant urge to hug his brother.]

[satanslash]

[Rin blinks rapidly a few times before letting out a laugh. He was concerned at first but it's clear Yukio isn't going to completely choke on his food.]

What? Didn't expect me to think that far ahead? I know how you are about that shit. It ain't like you're hidin' how much you're tryin' to resist Cordis right now.

[He grins toothily again, resting a hand under his chin as his tail wags behind him mischievously.]

Ooooooooor you could just give in and let me give you a damn hug finally.

[reflash]

[Did you know he could turn more red? Yukio didn't, but he is. He nods, and then immediately regrets it but doesn't take it back.]

[satanslash]

[Oh my god, that is a level of cute that does not belong to him at all but Rin is loving it.

Were he a lesser person he would absolutely take a picture for blackmail.

Actually he probably is a lesser person but he also really wants that hug.]

Okay, but no gettin' punchy.

[Gotta cover those bases, though. It is Yukio after all.]

[reflash]

Shut up and hug me, nii-san. [He might get punchy if Rin doesn't hug him. Cordis has only been around for a day and a half, and Yukio already feels like if he doesn't hug someone he's going to die.]

[satanslash]

["Shut up and hug me, nii-san" is probably the best thing he's heard in years.

Next to Kohaku saying 'yes' of course.

Still, his tail is wagging like crazy and his ears are all the way up, dopey grin of excitement plastered on his face as he goes in for that long over due hug.]

[reflash]

[Yukio is tense, and stays tense even as he grabs at Rin desperately, holds on like he's drowning and takes shaky gasps for air. It's warm. Rin is warm and safe and this is all overwhelming and he doesn't know why.

Yukio might be taller but he is absolutely hiding his face against Rin's shoulder.]

[satanslash]

[Rin knows it's Cordis, and that really to have Yukio in such a state is just weird, but he's also getting something out of it that he's wanted for so damn long.

Maybe he is taking advantage, but Cordis is also playing a part in his own reactions as well.

He lets a soft, amused huff pass through his nose as he rubs Yukio's back gently.]

Hey, it's okay...

[reflash]

[It's okay...

Yukio knows it isn't. He knows it isn't okay at all.

But he wants to believe it. He wants so much to believe that everything's okay. He doesn't let go, just clings more tightly, and those shaky breaths don't calm.]

[satanslash]

[Wow.

Okay.

Maybe this isn't all Cordis.

Maybe this is Cordis bringing out things that Yukio has probably stamped down on so hard for so long that it's a wonder there's anything left to come up at all.

Rin is a little surprised at that. Less that Yukio would eventually have to have that kind of thing break him anyway and more that it's happening right here and now.

But if that's what he needs...

Well, Rin wasn't planning on letting go before him.]

[reflash]

[There's damp heat against Rin's shoulder, tears Yukio doesn't even really realize he's shedding escaping him as he clings. This is too much. He doesn't know how he feels, but it's too much and he can't handle it and he absolutely cannot let go.]

[satanslash]

[Ah--

This is... fine.

This is fine.

He's not seconds from crying himself. Promise.

Rin swallows back against a rising lump in his own throat but his eyes are still starting to sting. He had wanted this for so long, for Yukio to open up, unbar the flood gates and let himself be vulnerable but Rin really wasn't prepared for how much it was actually going to hurt.

Worse still is how he knows it won't really change anything in the end. Cordis will go away until the end of the month and Yukio will be back to his usual cold, bitter self.

He didn't want to focus on those negatives, though, and Yukio did actually need him here right now.

Wasn't there a hymn Shiro liked to sing to Yukio when he was sick or upset? One they learned as little kids when Rin actually still cared about going to church.

He couldn't remember the words anymore, but the tune is there, and he can at least hum it.]

[reflash]

[It's too much. He's doing something he shouldn't, he's cracking open and splintering into thousands of pieces, and Rin's hands on his back barely hold him together. He shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't be clinging to Rin like this, he shouldn't be crying, he shouldn't be here like this right now.

And then there's a hum, melody familiar in a way that absolutely finishes the job of breaking Yukio apart. He collapses entirely against Rin, shaking with unrestrained sobs.]

[satanslash]

[In a way that hadn't actually been his intent, but after the second of legitimate shock at the sounds fades he realizes this is a good thing.

Of course it's going to suck for him later, when he's all cried out, tired and probably suffering from one hell of a headache, but God, when was the last time Yukio had shed any tears at all? At least in Rin's presence?

Too long.

Too long with too much bottled up and so many outlets refused or just straight up unhealthy.

It hurts his heart so much to hear such pained sounds from his brother but he also knows how badly this is needed. He kept the motions going, the soft hum despite how much his own throat was starting to tighten.

However long he needs this...]

[reflash]

[Cordis and Yukio's own desperate feelings overwhelm him, smashing walls and restraint and years of trying to be strong. He just clings, sobbing desperately, for long minutes that feel like hours. He isn't thinking, not coherently.

After a long while, those sobs fade out into gasping sniffles, and that desperate grip on his brother relaxes just enough to not be bruising.]

Sorry. [He mutters, without letting go or pulling his face away from Rin's shoulder.]

[satanslash]

Hey, it's okay...

[Despite his own tears, Rin smiled lightly and rested a hand on the back of Yukio's head. It had been awful to hear but he refused to let go as long as his brother needed that release.]

Wanna go back to bed? I can put the food away.

[reflash]

Can you-- [He catches himself before saying something really embarrassing, pulls back a little and nods, wiping at his face like that's going to do anything.]

[satanslash]

[Rin had a feeling. He wasn't going to assume, but there was feeling even before Yukio started and halted.

He ruffled Yukio's hair with that same light smile.]

Yeah. Lemmie put the food away first?

[reflash]

[There's another gasp for air, as Yukio shakes his head.]

This is bullshit.

[But all he wants is to reach out and grab Rin again.

He resists that urge, but doesn't head back to his bedroom.]

[satanslash]

That's just how it is here.

[Rin can't really offer anything more than that. He's had a whole year to get used to it. He can say 'it gets easier' all he wants but Yukio is stuck in it right now and easier was going to be a long way off still.]

I'm not gonna leave, okay?

[reflash]

I know. [But he doesn't go back to his room. Sorry, Rin, you're going to have to deal with the fact that Yukio is standing there, looking kind of miserable. His arms are crossed, and he's frowning, but it's really more like he's hugging himself and frustratedly annoyed at everything than anything really angry.]

[satanslash]

[... yeah. That tracks. He's not going to keep bringing it up. At least because everything was a takeout container it didn't take long to put it all away in the fridge.

He washes his hands quickly after and dries them off on a towel before walking up to Yukio and giving him a pat on the upper arm.]

Alright.

[reflash]

[He does not hug Rin. Not right now, as much as even that pat against his arm trips something in his brain that makes him want to grab Rin and never let go. He just nods.]

[satanslash]

C'mon.

[Don't make him drag you, Yukio.]